How to succeed at becoming a failure
ByCJ Judd Australian Artist
Copyright © 2015 by CJ Judd Australian Artist.
All rights reserved. No part of this book is to be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means without written
permission from the author.
ACKNOWLEDGMENT
I wrote this book whilst
keeping in mind that wonderful and amazing septuagenarian gentleman that
mentored me in late 2015 and turned my life around. To you Sir, I owe much for
having opened my eyes and awakening my mind and inner self. I will forever be
grateful for what you’ve done for me. You raised yourself from the gutter to
become what you are today, and have been so kind as to share your experiences
and advice with me, showing me the way. I shall forever honour my promise to
keep your name private as you requested and repay you by doing to someone else
someday, what you have done for me. The effort that went into this book directly results from your inspiration. Thank you, ever so sincerely dear Sir.
DEDICATION
I
dedicate this book to all artists, musicians, actors, writers, stand-up
comedians, circus clowns, street sweepers and prostitutes and anyone else who
like me at a very young age, was full of big dreams to succeed and have a wonderful
and exciting life but never did, and ended up working for a living on a basic
wage. No one (to my knowledge) has ever written a book about us the losers, so
I’ve taken on this task with the aim of consoling and assisting you to attain
some success, or if only just to reinvent yourself into a better person sometime
in later life, because I know that you, like me, us Artists of all persuasions,
by our very nature never lose the desire to rise to the top, to attain the
dream of becoming who we could have been and earning our keep with our
creativity. Most importantly, that on the day we die, it should not be as
though we never existed. True, there is such a thing as too little too late,
but it never is too late to start anew, one more time, once again in another
way, yes just one more time yet again. Documented herein are my efforts for
rescuing the last few remaining years of my life that I wish to share with you
so that you can reinvent yourself at the very least in a basic way that will
make a vast difference to your life. Good luck, my friends, I wish you all the
love and all the very best things that life has to offer. Peace, blessings,
and some chocolate.
CJ Judd
Artist
Sydney Australia.
DISCLAIMER
Please
be advised that I cannot engage in correspondence with readers of this book. I
am an ordinary man with a story and an opinion to share, that’s all. Whether
you agree or disagree with the contents I respect your opinion, but I decline
to debate or engage in arguments about anything stated herein. You are entitled
to your opinions and so am
INDEX
Chapter 1. The reason for writing this book
Chapter 2. Common Sayings and my invented words and terminologies.
Chapter 3. The mythological entities that control our lives.
Chapter 4. The parable of
Fred.
Chapter 5. There are many things in
life over which we have no control.
Chapter 6. 19/09/1999
Chapter 7. My Observations and Discoveries.
Chapter 8. The religion and the false messiahs of Youcanology.
Chapter 9. The law of attraction myth.
Chapter 10. What can one do to achieve success?
Chapter 11. The disabled and the retarded.
Chapter 12. The Cumulative Effect.
Chapter 13. $78,000.00
Chapter 14. Dealing
with unpleasantries.
Chapter 15. Building a new world around yourself.
Chapter 16. Can a person really change?
Chapter 17. Coping with negative people and things that disempower you.
Chapter 18. Living in the hypnotic state.
Chapter 19. Conditioning from birth culminating into a
shame curse.
Chapter 20. The most extraordinary life of a bodybuilder.
Chapter 21. Distractions.
Chapter 22. Personal determination.
Chapter 23. Self-improvement
simplified.
Chapter 24. Self-induced mental reprogramming.
Chapter 25. Learning from Delusion.
Chapter 26. Believe till you achieve.
Chapter 27. Three things for forcing a change in one’s life.
Chapter 28.
Never accept defeat, never give up.
Chapter 29.
Evolution of the soul.
Chapter 30.
Dreams don’t always have to die.
Chapter 31. Last
words.
Chapter 1
The reason for writing this book
Hello, thank you for choosing to read
my book, which started as a
collection of unrelated essays. I started writing roughly fifteen years after
my devastating failure to attain my life’s dream of becoming a professional
musician. Over time, my writings accumulated into a considerable amount of copy
that I tried melding into cohesion in the form of a book many years later. This
proved very awkward, since there were several topics that did not really mesh
well together, so I split the material into different tomes. This is the main
book I refer to as the “life experience” that should be of help, or at least of
interest or amusement to those who like me, their dreams never materialised,
and are now of advanced age but still desire to pursue their dream of becoming
successful at something, somehow, sometime, someday, or if not, to at the very
least become a better person in the most basic of ways in one’s own world as I
have done within my private world without ever becoming rich or famous in a
public way.
I believe we can always rediscover or reinvent ourselves
after a major setback, albeit perhaps with lowered sights, and revitalize our
lives from the mundane to a more fulfilling lifestyle. It can be done; I know
this to be true from personal experience. I
started writing seriously in January 2011 at the age of fifty-eight, many years after experiencing
catastrophic career failure that left me psychologically mortally wounded for
the rest of my life. A retrospective analysis made it necessary for me to
record certain things that appeared to be important truths, important lessons I
wanted to preserve, also observations I had become aware of that seemed too
important for me to simply let pass and forget. During
the course of my life and many subsequent attempts to rise above the ordinary,
I came to the realization that life is not the simple easily managed thing the
multitude of positive thinking, self-help books will have us believe, that we
can do anything if only we think we can. There are many factors that come into
play that influence our lives, of which most of us I suspect are only vaguely
aware of. It is important that you understand that in this book you will only
read about my own observations, my own opinions, my suspicions, frustrations
and disappointments, as I have experienced them first hand for myself, as the
ordinary man all alone somewhat like the hungry ghost.
Through
my own life experiences, I came to know certain things to be true, I’ve come to
believe that certain teachings presented to us as absolute truths to be false
or misleading, such as the teaching that we as individuals can choose to be and
do whatever we like, I do not believe this to be the case. Use the information in
this book as a guide, to assist you in your own life’s journey. Use it perhaps
as a guide for not doing what I have done and perhaps you can learn something
from my failure, you be the judge. I only ask that you read carefully, and give
my statements a lot of impartial thought. I warn you that I start off appearing
negative and defeatist, trust me this is not the case. Please continue reading,
and things will start to make sense to you, I promise.
I will
mention to you right now that some self-styled life-coach experts and gurus
will waste no time at all in telling us that: as you think, so you shall become. And quote the Bible verse “As a man thinketh in his heart, so is he”.
This is true, but in my case at least, it was not to be, and since this was the
case with me, surely it must have been with others. My desires, my most
dominant thoughts for attaining success in life were a beautiful thing, but
what happened to me, in reality, was another, in spite of my best efforts. My
experiences led me to believe that we are not in charge of our lives like the
many books written by the great motivators, and the self-styled life coaches
and mystics profess. I believe that in some cases certain people are given
special or privileged lives, good things come to them gradually and
automatically, whilst others are born to just exist. Also, I believe evil forces
or malevolent entities affect the lives of some individuals, hurting some and
aiding others and this is an impossible thing to prove. I can tell you that I
am one such individual whose life was adversely interfered with by an
intelligent and malevolent entity that destroyed my life and hindered me in my every
attempt to redeem my intended destiny. When you’re all alone in your house and
objects move by themselves, get toppled over as I’ve experienced, you know
you’re not alone. Regardless, it is true that we can exert a large portion of
control over our lives once we attain self-awareness and the tenacity and
fortitude to confront all adversity and setbacks that life throws in the way of
many individuals, especially those that want to succeed in life and rise above
the average. So it was that all of my life even in the darkest moments when I
knew I had failed, the hope was always there that my destiny would manifest
itself over all difficulties, and one day I would indeed be a recording musician
and a painter artist, and maybe rich also, but this was not to be. I had missed
the turnoff to my intended destiny and went the wrong way because of my failure
to abide by the instructions given me for attaining my success as I will reveal
to you in due course.
Mine became
the life of a miserable disillusioned man who succeeded only in becoming a failure.
Besides my blunders, something evil entered my life and hindered my every
effort to succeed, and damaged every opportunity that presented itself to me
that would have taken me to the next level. Eventually, after much frustration
and disappointment, I gave in and fell victim to the hypnotizing force that affects
most of the population. In my desperation, I became a devoted believer in the so-called
power of positive thinking and devoured all the major books written by authors whose
books are now classics, spawning yet another generation of suchlike gurus, most
of them shysters who continue to preach positive thinking that has now evolved
into a quasi-religion expanded with New Age thought, namely the bullshit law of
attraction, brushed over by the little-understood theory of Quantum physics in
an attempt to legitimise it as a scientific law. They tell us that yes you can
be whatever you want, and do whatever you like. I’ve come to refer to this
false religion as “youcanology” for convenience and in a sarcastic and less
than respectful way.
This book supplies you with an alternative, a “reality check” to
the myriads of self-help books at your disposal, some of which you might have
read, that purport to know the secrets for attaining success in life and would have
you believe you can chase a wild goose and jump up to catch it in mid-flight
with your bare hands, whilst chewing gum and smoking a cigar at the same time,
if only you believe you can. No doubt if you too have believed these books as I
did, they’ve either disappointed you, or at best infused you with a short-lived
sugar hit, then all reverted to the way things were before, and little changed
in your life. Understand that all my life since very early childhood I had a deep-seated
feeling inside of me, a reassurance that I was different to everyone else, and
that I was going to be highly successful, maybe even famous someday. This was
the dominant feeling inside of me from my earliest years as I was growing up,
how and where did this idea come into my head since my earliest childhood? According
to these self-help books, this sort of unwavering and deep-seated belief and
visualization is the kind of magic that makes things happen, this is the magic that
drives the subconscious mind to attain one’s desired success. Keep this point
in mind because it is very important and will be explored in depth.
In this
book, one thing will quickly become apparent to you, how I’ve struggled to make
sense of contradicting rules in life that seem to work for some people but not
for others, rules that may be relevant today, but not tomorrow. I will also
confide in you that I suspect that contrary to what prominent authors will tell
you, we are not fully in control of our lives. There’s something else out there
pulling strings or exerting an influence on us. It was very difficult for me to
write this book, it’s been a real challenge compiling my thoughts and
observations written so the reader hopefully can understand and appreciate, and
be able to fully relate to, but most importantly benefit from. Many times, I
will repeat and overlap things just to drive the point home to you, please
don’t let this repetition annoy you. Do take notice of these iterated and overlapping
passages in different chapters, they are important. I ask that you ponder on
all the contradictory statements that I make in this book because I have noticed
that there seem to be no constants in this world. What works for someone, will
not or may not work for someone else, or the rules and principles that will
work for you at certain times of your life will be ineffective in some other time
of your life, due to prevailing conditions and changed circumstances and many
other external influences. I wrote this book in order to assist or console others
who like me, might have been aspiring musicians, artists, actors, writers, or
anyone at all with a great ambition to succeed, but never did. Let us begin now
by telling you that it’s ok for you to criticise or ridicule me if you disagree
with anything I say. I divulge and strip naked the desires and ambitions of my
early and later years, and the monumental failures and bad luck that seemed to
haunt me, and how things turned out in my life in spite of my best efforts. I
am willing to publically embarrass myself by telling you all about my failed
high ambitions. I do so to help you achieve your success or find solace in the
fact that you’re not the only one who wanted to go to the moon but failed to
even reach the corner shop if you get my analogy here. I sincerely hope that
this book will give you a better insight of how things probably work in this
world and that you might recognise them to be working in your life. The world
mocks and derides the ambitious individual of humble achievements, respect and admiration
come only after one has achieved success. Should one fail however, there is no
sympathy, no admiration for having dared to rise above the ordinary, you’re only
seen as delusional or narcissistic.
*
Do you believe in things of a
supernatural nature? Are you open to the suggestion that perhaps some people’s
lives are guided, influenced, or manipulated by… shall we say, supernatural
forces? Are you willing to entertain the notion that “spirits” can invade a
person’s life much to their detriment? What about those mysteries we call luck,
fate and destiny? Do you believe they are real? Words fail me here, so please
be patient and try to understand as you read on. Let me continue by telling you
three short stories as a preamble to the experience I had that I believe was
definitely of a supernatural nature. You, of course, don’t have to believe a
word of what I’m saying, and I respect that. Here is the first story I want to
tell you, it’s a true story and although it will fail to impress you, will
serve to help you understand something much deeper as we progress.
This story is of a conversation I
had at a party when I was a young musician with a wide circle of friends and
many events to go to. I was invited to a party where most of the guys and girls
were young musicians or aspiring actors. I was in conversation with a group of
people I did not know, who were training to become actors. One of the young
girls doing all the talking and getting everyone laughing started telling us
about a young man in her group of friends, an aspiring young actor who had a
vision for himself. This great idea came over him to dye his brown hair a
golden blond, and have it styled like a 50’s rocker, neatly combed and
sculptured. She went on to tell us how he also planned to change his name to
Boran Delacy. He had this dream, and he told everyone that he was going to do
that, and become a famous actor. I was instantly impressed by the story of this
young man with this vision to change his name to Boran Delacy and metamorphose
into a new persona, and launch himself into a wonderful acting career and
become a movie star. This girl never mentioned his real name and I was really
impressed by the sound of his adopted name and commented it was a wonderful
name for an actor. Unfortunately, the story was not told to us to laud how this
young man had this awesome vision for his future, she was making fun of him.
She continued telling everyone that now all his friends were openly mocking him,
and were calling him Delaccio instead. I was taken aback by that but said
nothing. I never forgot the story of this tremendous young kid I never met, who
had this wonderful vision for his future. His mistake it seems was that he told
his friends about his planned transformation instead of keeping it a secret, so
now he became the subject of ridicule. His so-called friends were telling everyone
far and wide about his aspirations, and everyone was laughing and mocking his
name. Boran Delacy, I thought it had a ring to it, I was impressed and wanted
to meet him, I would have liked to be friends with someone of such vision. I wonder
whatever happened to “Boran”, do you know of a famous movie star named Boran
Delacy? Such is the way with wonderful dreams, and the beautiful people with
such visions for their futures. Dreams have a way of dissolving into the ether,
to become forgotten fossil memories, or in some cases embarrassing ones because
they never materialized, and from that, I learned that it’s best to keep such
lofty aspirations a secret. Boran Delacy, I never forgot that name, would you
make fun of someone with such a vision for himself? Would you be willing to
consider that maybe such “visions” come to young people from an unknown source?
Perhaps a foreign dimension, let’s say from the supernatural world? Maybe not
in Boran’s case.
Let me tell you a second story
that is also true and very much documented, a story that I will more clearly
reveal to you later on. This is the story of a young man who had seriously grandiose
ideas for himself, far bigger than Boran’s, one could even say delusionally
grandiose. He felt inside of him the calling of great things to come, just like
I did when I was a kid fresh out of school. One day out of the blue, a magazine
just happened to come his way. The picture on the cover and the story inside
impressed him so severely it infused him with awe. He knew the content of that
magazine was the blueprint for his future life. Indeed, that is exactly what
that young man did, he followed the “path” this magazine revealed to him for
his future and went on to enjoy an amazing life of truly extraordinary fame and
wealth. You know this young man very well. He’s in his seventies now (at time
of writing) and going strong, he gives lectures on how anyone can follow their
dream just like he did. He put together seven rules for success. If you read a
book written by this now old man, I’m sure you would have no choice but to
believe what he says because his success is indisputable, the whole world has
seen it, and he is a household name.
This third story I will tell you now
is the very real story of another young man, he’s an old disillusioned man
nowadays, a quiet and withdrawn semi-reclusive sort of old man truly alone
without any friends or relatives. Things were not like that when he was young fresh
out of school and it became evident that he was artistically very talented and
had a passion and a gift for music and art. He had many friends and an active
social life. One day he was with some friends out having fun when suddenly he became
aware of a girl his age looking at him and experienced a “time freeze” as he
stared back mesmerized by this beautiful girl that had very long hair. Inside
this very short period of time whilst looking at each other in their frozen poses,
he “received a message”. This message was a simple two-step instruction for his
life to come. In this story, this young man disobeyed these instructions and
listened instead to all the logical reason that made a lot of sense for not
doing so. As a result, he failed to live up to his destined success and lived
out his life in the drudgery of suburbia. If this old man was to now write a
book telling you how he could have been a somebody and the things he now knows
to be true, would you believe his story, the story and opinions of a complete
unknown, a failed old man home alone?
I too started life as a very talented kid, full of exciting and wonderful big dreams, and a mysterious ingrained belief that I was very special and destined for fame and maybe even wealth. I have no idea where this feeling that I was destined for a great life came from, an emotion of excitement, an assurance inside of me. It was always there from my earliest days as I child that I can remember. I also remember things happening to me of a supernatural nature, such as out-of-body experiences, receiving messages, things like that. A very distinct instruction was given to me from out of the ether one night when I visited
